


Kick me even when I'm down

by warlock_bane



Series: Suffer us a Future [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Has Panic Attacks, Alec Lightwood Has Self-Worth Issues, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Blackmail, Deruned Alec Lightwood, Discrimination Against Downworlders, Downworlder Alec Lightwood, Downworlder Dad Magnus Bane, Downworlder Politics, Everyone deserves nice things, Exile, F/F, F/M, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Homophobia, Hurt Alec, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parabatai, Sabotage, Stalking, Suicidal Alec Lightwood, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags May Change, Whump, hybrid Alec Lightwood, not really sure what is going on :) (:, uhoh pesky demons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21675808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warlock_bane/pseuds/warlock_bane
Summary: It was time to leaveAnd so we didOur heavy boots stealing snow as they wentAs we fell away into darknessBut before we were completely consumedI turned to look and criedMy last farewell to happinessDanger is no stranger to Alec Lightwood; Manus Bane knows the face of betrayal all too well. The two might have found each other in the events concerning the Fray child, but can they cope as life decides to tear them a new one?
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood & Max Lightwood, Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Max Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis & Raphael Santiago, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Series: Suffer us a Future [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562593
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Kick me even when I'm down

"Alexander?"

Magnus had seen many things in his long life, and each time he thought he'd seen it all, something managed to suprise him.

When thinking of his experiences with shadowhunters, he remembers how shockingly merciless they could be as they raided downworld nurseries, how they were so disgusted by his mere presence that they would throw away the dishes he had touched.

He remebers how the younger ones became more and more tolerant and how the lips of a boy running from a curse-that-never-was had tasted. He remembers the words of fanatics and a war won with new friends and a beautiful man with bright visions for the future.

And he had never expected any of it.

However, he had to say that he was having trouble processing the unlikely scene before him. Crouched on top of the fridge, making himself as small as possible, was none other than Alexander Lightwood.

"Uhhh, hi Magnus?" Alec squeaked in a shaky voice, sounded mildly terrified.

Quickly checking his wards, he raised his eyebrow. He couldn't feel any demonic pressence that had managed to break in, so what had scared the almighty shadowhunter so much that he was _hiding_?

"Are you going to tell me why you're up there? Or do I have to scour the appartment and vanquish whatever foul beast it is all by myself?"

Alec murmered something, cheeks colouring in a hot blush as he looked down at his bare feet.

"I'm sorry, darling, you'll have to speak up."

Inhaling deeply, Alec slowly raised his eyes, schooling his expression until it was void of all emotion.

"There's a spider."

To be fair to Magnus, he managed to withhold his laughter for a full 30 seconds. 30 seconds of dead silence before he exploded in hysterics at this all new and interesting information about his boyfriend.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, legendary hero and warrior of the mortal war, head of the New York Institute, has succumbed to the wrath of the mighty arachnid! May he rest in peace."

Seeing the moderately offended scowl growing on Alexander's face, he managed to calm himself down to a reasonable level. "Sorry dear, where is it?"

"It ran under the sofa. I was just getting a vantage point, you see, I wasn't hiding."

Still not quite able to wipe the smirk off his face, Magnus flicked his hand, and a pulse of magic swept through the house.

"There. Any and all spiders that were here have been relocated to a park 3 miles from here. All safe now." he offered his hand to Alec. Taking it, he gracefully climbed down off the fridge, leaning forward to give Magnus a peck on the cheek.

"My saviour."

"Indeed I am. Are you patrolling tonight?" It was a question he akways asked. He couldn't bare the thought of going to sleep whilst Alec was in danger - what if he got hurt and needed him?

"No, I think I'm stuck doing admin all day, so don't you wait up for me, okay?

"Okay darling. Send me a text when you're finishing up though."

* * *

Alec had never been so bored.

Buzzed up on caffeine, paperwork couldn't capture his attention long enough to work out some of his nervous energy. He could feel his brain freezing over as he stared blankly at the mess of documents spread over his desk. Surely by now, the Clave would realise that he knew what he was goddamn doing? He'd trained for this position his entire life, and now he was too tied up in paperwork to do it.

Standing, he went to retrieve more coffee. The stuff at the institute was nothing compared to what Magnus magicked up - or his cocktails.

It still amazed him how talented and focused his boyfriend was, how smooth could be. Magnus in general amazed him.

Drifting back to his desk, hot mug in hand, he picked a sheet up at random, hoping it might bear something of interest. Sadly, all he found was more invasive questions about Institute policy for level 3 demonic disturbances. Did they think he was incompetent?

Sighing, he fell back into his chair. Tonight was going to be long and dull. Sending a quick text to Magnus, he grabbed a pen and got to work.

* * *

"Well, hello there lover. Fancy seeing you here"

  
Magnus froze. Despite the drone of the music and thick layer of conversation around him, he would recognise that bitter voice anywhere. It belonged to someone he had once adored with all of his foolish heart. It belonged in the past.

  
"Camille," he acknowledged, partially tilting his head towards her yet keeping his gaze on his swirling drink. "I don't see why you should be surprised, considering _I do own_ this club. And, as you may recall, I am certainly no lover of yours" His eyes flickered to meet hers, flashing to emphasise his words, before looking away again.

  
"Ah yes, the shadowhunter boy. Honestly, Maggie, this is getting silly. We both know that it's me you really love. This little dalliance of yours - a pointless waste of time really - I give it maybe twenty years. Even if he doesn't manage to get himself slaughtered, they all die eventually. You and me though, we're different. Timeless." she finished with a small smirk.

What was she _doing_ here? Wasn't she tired of her twisted games yet? Schooling his expression to hide the effects of her words, Magnus sharply turned to face her completely.

"I might have believed you in the past, but I've learnt now that you are nothing more than a rotten, heartless soul, and no pretty face is going to change that for you. Whatever we might have shared is gone - probably wasn't real in the first place anyway. You want to toy with people to entertain yourself? Fine. But I want nothing more to do with you or your games. And staying away from my life includes Alexander, so if you even think about touching him I will not hesitate to retaliate."

She snorted, "How sweet. Anyway, dearest, it's been a pleasure talking to you but I must leave. Do give my best wishes to your 'Alexander' for me, that's a darling. Ciao." And then she turned and disappeared into the crowded space of the club.

Shaking his head, Magnus decided to go home for the night. That had been... intense. He was more than a little shaken from the memories that were threatening to surface, and the type of alcohol reserved for these types of situations was at the loft. Of course, he knew he could just make it appear at the club, but he needed to be alone for a while. Get his thoughts in order.

Having stepped into one of the more discreet booths, tucked away in the corner, he conjured a portal and stumbled through.

> _That's odd, usually he had a very swift step._

Arriving in his doorway, he made a beeline for his drinks cart but veered off suddenly as intense nausea overcame him. His limbs were too heavy and the bathroom was too far away.

Crashing into the kitchen counter, he tried to hold himself up as his legs began to shake, but all he could do was slow his fall to the floor as he curled up on the cold floorboards.

It was so cold, somebody should shut the window, he thought.

He was trying to focus on his hands but his eyelids were so heavy.

So cold.

So tired.

He'd just close his eyes - just for a moment - just so he could douse the pulsing ache in his head... 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This is - evidently - my first post on here. I love feedback so any constructive comments are welcome! Hope you liked it!  
> Updates will come anywhere between a couple of days and a month :) let's see how life decides to treat me.  
> I know the total number of chapters look a bit daunting, but not to worry! I have a plan :)


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